yeah well supposed to be sleeping now i guess but then again i just couldnt sleep...
so much emotions today.. tat i dunno where to begin with...

kind of sucky to think of it...
first i wan to go out and yet no where to go... no money to go as well... dad refuse to give mi money...

haiz... today after deciding to accompany darling on the phone and dun go out with unknown
the phone call end up to be quite emotional...
haiz... u asked me one question... tat if i was as sweet as the first 3 months of our relationship...
from the bottom of my heart... deep thoughts... refreshing wat we been thru...
and probably the reason i cant slp... yeah...

well we may have encountered problems... and trouble... misunderstandings... i asked myself...
didnt i tried to accomedate with you? didnt i give in at times? didnt i try my best to resolve it?
well.. at least i believe i did it...

then again... i felt guility for unable to meet u qhen u requested... unable to be there for u at times when u need me... again i admit... my fault...

times when i am with my frenz and probably had let u feel neglected... i hope u understand i have frenz tooo... u too have ur frenz... and i find them when i cant meet or they arranged first...
am i guility for this?... i dunno...

then comes this question... do i do my part as ur boyfren?.... i hope u rmb our happy times together... times when we both know we are free and i never did hesitate to travel all the way to meet u... all the way to be with u... on our 7th anniversary even though i told u its ok with ur classmates... i dun mind them... all lies... i really wish them to go.. i really wan them to leave as u said they will at 6... i really hate to be left alone like tat in the room when i knw the time supposed to be meant for both of us... yet i just swallowed it down... tat time u fell sick... it worried me alot... even though i know myself aint in the best of health... anyway u knw it as well... i was coughing like no1 business... seen a doc tat day... hmmm at least u couldnt forget this incident... the answer i have... i love u... i cared for u... i maybe stupid at times when it comes to gal feelings... but i tried my best to be there...

well and last question i asked myself... reason why i am able to carry living...
i know the reason... the reason is U... reason for me to struggle to keep alive...
reason is i love u...

haiz...
another dark memory i guess...
another collection to my dark memories...